She poured quiet scorn on your abilities, and she owned you by convincing you that you could do nothing without her. My heart bled for you, not least because I knew the loneliness you felt, although for my own reasons. Some people, perhaps most, live on the surface, are outwardgoing and gregarious. Others of us live always in an inner world, seeing and understanding things that others, it seems, cannot see. The true rare joy that we experience is when we meet that other person with whom we can share that inner life, and the secrets do not need to be told because we recognize ourselves in the other.I loved what I saw in you, and gave you as much support as I could to make up for the indifference that had been your lot since you could remember. I loved your mind, your bright intelligence. And you responded with your courage and determination.When your fears were overcome, you, as I knew you could, aced your exam, and wrote, with only limited help from me, a sparkling essay. You, too,. “That don’t mean we can’t sit in the sauna naked, though!” she giggled.“Can I ask you something?”“How can I laugh and be happy? What’s the alternative? Mope around? Go sit in a rocking chair with a quilt on my lap and wait to die? Hell no!”“There are really no treatments?” I asked.“It’s spread too far, too fast. Even if it hadn’t, the mortality rate from surgery is so high that I’m not sure it would be worth the extra pain and suffering, even if it was possible. And chemotherapy failed the first time. No, Yankee, unless someone comes up with a magic bullet to clear it out of my liver, kidneys, and pancreas, it’s going to kill me. And soon.”“Shit,” I sighed.“And that is the last I’m going to say about it and the last time you’re goin’ to even think about it while I am here. I didn’t come here to see you mope around or talk about me dyin’ for four solid days. I came to see my friend, to have a good time, and to make sure he knows how much I love him. And how grateful I am for everythin’.
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